of Smellda: Twilight Pimpcess
|The hand is attached to Rod
Serling, who says “Welcome to the Twilight Zone.” Old
Twilight Zone music starts playing, and Link yells and
turns into a wolf. He faints, and Rod Serling drags
Midna suddenly appears.
Midna: I found
Link barks, and Midna replies
Midna: Wow, you
are definitely a mutt.
Link does that little doggie
Midna breaks Link’s chains.
Midna: All right.
Let’s make a deal. If I get you out of this without
returning you to your human form, you must travel across
the entire country and get me these three fused shadows
while risking your life and limb as I hide as your
Link does a howl of doubt.
with a chart in the background with a pointer.
And I’ll throw in three easy payments of five
Midna: C’mon. We need to leave this prison.
Anything you need to do before we leave?
Link is in
the dog poo position. (Please censor this)
Zelda’s room, Zelda in black robes is sitting.
and Link appear. Midna flies to Zelda.
right, here’s Link. Now, tell him how to…
have hearts in them, and he does a romantic howl thing
Zelda: Does he bite?
Midna: No, but
Link starts to hump Zelda’s leg
dog! Get him out!
Midna warps Link out.
What was that?
Link looks down, ashamed.
teleported to Ordon Spring.
Midna: Let’s go, Link! We
need to find weapons! Let’s start with a sword and
Link runs to Ordon Village, and there are
monsters by his house.
Link attacks them, and is
about to leave when a squirrel talks to
Squirrel: Hey! Don’t worry, you’re not an
animal. You can talk to animals-
Switch to Link
chewing on the squirrel’s carcass.
Midna: Hey! No
time for dinner.
10 Minutes Later
Link is at Ordon
Ordon (with really shiny letters): Chosen
Hero, beware… a shadow approaches.
Midna: What? I
can’t understand you due to your sparkling text.
portal appears and a Twilight messenger falls out and
lands on its neck. A loud crack is heard.
think it broke its neck.
Immediately the creature
becomes an inactive portal.
Midna: Well, let’s go
back into the twilight.
In the twilight…
shield on her face and sword in her hand.
These are the weapons that you use?
Midna swings the
sword and cuts Link’s head off.
Ending music plays
and screen goes to Game Over. The word “Retry?” is
visible, and “Yes” is highlighted.
Link is seen
getting up off of the floor
The spirit, Faron, comes
down and speaks to Link
Faron: Hero, I’ve been
cursed, and get these things of light for me,
Link and Midna set
Faron: Thank you Link for
collecting the Tears of Light for me. Now look at your
Link, human again, looks at his clothing.
A sword and shield are on his back.
Faron: It once
belonged the original hero from the previous script of
Link: Was the other guy gay or
(LINK WILL WEAR THE ORDON
to Part III
Date Submitted: May 11th, 2007
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